I don’t Remember what happend or who could have done it but something had happened.As I was scared until .i found it . Something.
I was coming back from my trip to the local shop bought a couple of things a little radio a bit of breakfast things to prepare.I placed the radio in the room it looked quite fitted in to the house nice other than the fact i woke up and it was in my room. Almost like it was following me were ever I was it was there.but why?
February 9, 2015 at 8:26 am
Brilliant opening
February 10, 2015 at 10:34 am
The first, shorter paragraph is very effective. the short sentence, “Something” especially works well.
The second paragraph is too rushed: the sentences are all smushed together. They need to be separated out so that they each have their own sentence. Commas can allow you to put little pauses in if you really don’t want to start a new sentence.
October 20, 2015 at 3:11 pm
That’s really good Shane.